Jimmy Kimmel on Pete Hegseth: ‘Our secretary of defense is defenseless’

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With several hosts still on Easter holiday, Jimmy Kimmel talks the search for a new pope and Pete Hegseth’s ongoing Signal scandals at the Department of Defense.Kimmel kicked off his show Tuesday by acknowledging Earth Day – and for the occasion, the US Environmental Protection Agency fired or reassigned hundreds of employees.“I can’t help but wonder how different things might be if Donald Trump’s father had taken him camping even one time,” he joked.He then turned his attention to the top global story of the week: the search for a new pope after Pope Francis died on Monday morning at the age of 88.“Nobody is going to be more insufferable this week than your friend who saw the movie Conclave and now knows everything about how it works,” said Kimmel.

“I’ll tell you how it works: over the next few weeks, 135 flamboyantly dressed cardinals will gather to pass judgment on a series of aspiring candidates and in a lot of ways, it’s the Catholic version of RuPaul’s Drag Race,”Kimmel had a personal favorite: an Italian cardinal long stationed in Jerusalem named Pierbattista Pizzaballa,“Is he qualified? Honestly, we have no idea,” said Kimmel in a prayer for the very Italian-sounding Italian cardinal to be named pope,“Is he made of pizza? Also unclear,Is he round like a balla? We also don’t know.

But his name is so funny, please grant the other cardinals the strength to give us a Pope Pizzaballa.”Kimmel also mocked Trump’s defense secretary, Hegseth, who is once again in hot water over using unsanctioned messaging apps to discuss sensitive military operations.Earlier this week, it was reported that Hegseth used a second Signal group chat, this one including family members, to discuss planned strikes in Yemen.Appearing on Fox News, Hegseth tried to dismiss furor as misguided: “Then and now, however you characterize it, was informal, unclassified coordinations … that’s what I’ve said from the beginning.”“Right, but it was bullshit from the beginning, too,” Kimmel responded.

“You texted the exact time and place the secret bombing would begin before the secret bombing to your wife on an easily hackable phone.And is defense for this is ‘who told you? And how dare they tell you!’”“This is like your wife catching you in bed with another woman and your response is ‘well, why did you come home so early?’” he continued.“Our secretary of defense is defenseless, but it’s not his fault! The ones who get the blame for this is the leakers.”Kimmel then played a supercut of Hegseth complaining about “leakers” – “I don’t have time for leakers,” he said during the same Fox News interview.“You don’t have time for leakers? You are the leaker,” said an exasperated Kimmel.

“You leak so much, you should be wearing Depends to work,”
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Ofcom accused of prioritising interests of tech firms over child safety online

The communications watchdog has been accused of backing big tech over the safety of under-18s after the children’s commissioner for England criticised new measures for tackling online harms.Rachel de Souza said she warned Ofcom last year that its proposals for protecting children under the Online Safety Act were too weak. New codes of practice issued by the watchdog on Thursday have ignored her concerns, she said.“I made it very clear last year that its proposals were not strong enough to protect children from the multitude of harms they are exposed to online every day,” de Souza said. “I am disappointed to see this code has not been significantly strengthened and seems to prioritise the business interests of technology companies over children’s safety

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What are the Ofcom measures to protect children online – and will they work?

The UK communications watchdog has set out more than 40 measures to keep children safe online under a landmark piece of legislation.The Online Safety Act has a strong focus on protecting under-18s from harmful content and the codes of practice published by Ofcom on Thursday are a significant moment for regulation of the internet.The measures, which apply to sites and apps, video platforms such as YouTube and search engines, include: social media algorithms, which push content towards users, must filter out harmful content from children’s feeds; risky services, which will include major social media platforms, must have “effective” age checks so they can identify those under 18 and shield them from harmful content (or make the entire site safe for children); sites and apps must “quickly tackle” harmful content; children must have a “straightforward” way to lodge complaints and report content; all services must have a named executive responsible for children’s safety.Broadly, the act requires sites and apps likely to be accessed by children to suppress the spread of harmful content, such as violent, hateful or abusive material and online bullying. There are other categories of content that need to be kept off children’s feeds altogether such as pornography and material related to self-harm, suicide and eating disorders

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Ofcom announces new rules for tech firms to keep children safe online

Social media and other internet platforms will be legally required to block children’s access to harmful content from July or face large fines, Ofcom has announced.Tech firms will have to apply the measures by 25 July or risk fines – and in extreme cases being shut down – under the UK’s Online Safety Act.The communications watchdog published more than 40 measures on Monday covering sites and apps used by children, ranging from social media to search and gaming.Under the measures, the “riskiest” services, which include big social media platforms, must use “highly effective” age checks to identify under-18 users; algorithms, which recommend content to users, must filter out harmful material; all sites and apps must have procedures for taking down dangerous content quickly; and children must have a “straightforward” way to report content.Melanie Dawes, Ofcom’s chief executive, said the changes were a “reset” for children online and that companies failing to act would face enforcement

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What to do if your phone is lost or stolen: practical steps to restore peace of mind

Smartphones contain the entirety of our modern lives, from photos, messages and memories to credit cards, bank accounts and all life admin, so when one gets lost or stolen it can be far worse than the cost of the actual handset.Here’s what to do if the worst happens. Quickly taking these steps will help protect yourself against data theft, scams and fraud, and with luck could even lead to you being reunited with your phone.Try to locate your phone with Find My on Apple or Google, if you have it turned on. You can use a browser on a computer, tablet or even a friend’s phone

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Meta ‘hastily’ changed moderation policy with little regard to impact, says oversight board

Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta announced sweeping content moderation changes “hastily” and with no indication it had considered the human rights impact, the social media company’s oversight board has said.The assessment of the changes came as the board also criticised the Facebook and Instagram owner for leaving up three posts containing anti-Muslim and anti-migrant content during riots in the UK last summer.The oversight board raised concerns about the company’s announcement in January that it was removing factcheckers in the US, reducing “censorship” on its platforms and recommending more political content.In its first official statement on the changes, the board – which issues binding decisions on removing Meta content – said the company had acted too quickly and should gauge the impact of its changes on human rights.“Meta’s January 7, 2025, policy and enforcement changes were announced hastily, in a departure from regular procedure, with no public information shared as to what, if any, prior human rights due diligence the company performed,” said the board

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Elon Musk to pull back in Doge role starting May amid 71% dip in Tesla profits

The Tesla chief executive, Elon Musk, said he will start pulling back from his role at the so-called “department of government efficiency” starting in May. Musk’s remarks came as the company reported a massive dip in both profits and revenues in the first quarter of 2025 amid backlash against his role in the White House.On an investor call, Musk said the work necessary to get the government’s “financial house in order is mostly done”.“Starting probably next month, May, my time allocation to Doge will drop significantly,” he said.That said, he expects to spend one to two days a week continuing to do what he referred to as “critical work” at Doge “for as long as the president would like me to do so and as long as it is useful”