Seth Meyers on Trump’s address to Congress: ‘Interminable and excruciating’
Late-night hosts analysed Donald Trump’s chaotic and long address to Congress while also questioning the strength of the response,On Late Night, Seth Meyers called the 99-minute address “interminable and excruciating” while asking how it ended up being so long,“You couldn’t bring in Doge to make any cuts?” he said,He added that Trump’s speech was “so long Adrien Brody played him off” and that the “one exciting moment” was when Al Green protested by shaking his cane and saying he didn’t have a mandate to cut Medicaid,But Meyers found the other attempts to push back mostly ineffective, saying that “this guy changed the game and these are the new rules” so Democrats need to be tougher.
Trump once again referred to Senator Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas which he said was “both deeply offensive and a film which is 20 minutes shorter than the speech last night”,He said the best way to criticise Trump was to make fun of him for “being boring” and that they should have been “pretending to groggily wake up”,Trump also repeated “insane and previously debunked lies about social security” with a manic list of false numbers, making him sound like “a retiree conducting an auction”,On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert reminded viewers that it was the “longest address to a joint session of Congress ever” but that it also “felt longer”,This week has seen Trump bring in his promised tariffs on Canada and Mexico.
Colbert said for anyone who had forgotten, “tariffs are what economists describe as bad” in what the Wall Street Journal has called “the dumbest trade war in history”.He then asked: “Who better to gamble with our economy than a guy who somehow bankrupted his own casino?”The 25% tariffs “could really mess up the economy”, with prices of certain goods, like Mexican tequila and avocados on the rise.The Target CEO has said that prices will increase within days, leading Colbert to joke that their tagline, “Expect more.Pay less”, will soon change to “Pay more.Shut up.
”He said that “people are getting a little nervous” as the price of eggs is reaching record highs, with experts expecting them to rise by 41% this year.A recommendation was made by the government for people to have a chicken in their backyard to produce eggs, an idea that Colbert said was “awesome and so easy to do”.But the reason eggs are in short supply is because so many chickens have contracted bird flu which led Colbert to liken the plan to bring them into our houses to the CDC asking us to “wipe down our groceries with live bats” during Covid.On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host said on Ash Wednesday that “this year for Lent we are giving up democracy”.He spoke about Trump’s record-breakingly long address, asking: “Why is it that the orchestra can play off an Oscar winner but not the president?’”He said it was “10 minutes longer than The Lion King and had twice as much lying in it” with Trump engaging in “plenty of Biden-bashing” including a claim that he was spending $8m to make mice transgender.
Kimmel said this wasn’t even slightly true but was the result of a misunderstanding of what transgenic means, which was related to mice being used in lab tests to study disease,“Maybe they think we’re so dumb that we don’t know how to Google,” he said,Trump also said that the secretary of state, Marco Rubio, would be in charge of reclaiming the Panama canal and if it doesn’t work out, we will know who to blame,“Call Random House, little Marco has a book to pitch real soon,” he said,He then played the response from Bernie Sanders which was “downright poetic” as the senator followed every falsity from the speech with the words “a lie” leading to Kimmel referring to it as the “Vermont version of a diss track”.
The outbreak of measles continues, with the new health secretary, Robert F Kennedy Jr, saying he is all over it and that it isn’t unusual.Kimmel said it wasn’t unusual but “unheard of” given the available vaccine.There has also been a rumoured next batch of Jeffrey Epstein files but it will be redacted for national security issues.“Did Jeffrey Epstein have a UFO they came on to?” he asked.Kimmel said he knew why they would need to be edited.
“Trump and Jeffrey Epstein spent more time on planes than the Wright brothers,” he said,He then added: “They will release Diddy before they release the Epstein files”,
UK Treasury ‘weighs up funding cuts at GB Energy’ in blow to Ed Miliband
The UK government is reportedly weighing up the possibility of cutting planned funding for GB Energy, the state-owned company set up by Labour to drive renewable energy and cut household bills, in June’s spending review.Cuts to the £8.3bn of taxpayer money promised over the five-year parliament would be another blow for Ed Miliband, the energy secretary, after he was overruled by the government when the chancellor, Rachel Reeves, backed the expansion of Heathrow’s third runway.GB Energy, a vital cog in Keir Starmer’s plans to “supercharge” Britain’s clean energy revolution, was only given an initial £100m in October’s budget to cover its first two years.Ministers are carrying out a “zero-based review” of all government spending, which has been given additional impetus after Starmer’s pledge to boost investment in defence
Andrew Bailey was accused by Barclays chair of having ‘destroyed’ Jes Staley, court hears
The Bank of England governor, Andrew Bailey, was accused by the Barclays chair of having “destroyed” Jes Staley, a court heard on Friday, after the City watchdog led by Bailey at the time launched an investigation into the banker’s ties to the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.Nigel Higgins, who made the accusations and is still the Barclays chair, also asked in 2019 whether the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) would be willing to drop its investigation if Staley resigned.“We discussed whether there was a way for Mr Staley to step down from his position in order to avoid the investigation, which may have had some attraction for Barclays and Mr Staley,” Bailey said in a witness statement.However, he told Higgins it would be “impossible” to ignore a cache of emails from JP Morgan, which included a notorious exchange discussing Disney princess characters.“I explained that there was no way that we could avoid asking Mr Staley about the “Snow White” email,” Bailey, who was then running the FCA, said
US unemployment rate rises to 4.1% as economy added 151,000 new jobs in February – as it happened
Today’s jobs report shows that the US unemployment rate has risen to 4.1%, up from 4% in January.That’s still pretty low in historic terms, taking the jobless rate back up to its level in December.As the BLS point out, the US unemployment rate has remained in a narrow range of 4.0 percent to 4
Royal Mail to increase price of first-class stamp to £1.70
Royal Mail is to increase the cost of first- and second-class stamps for what will be the sixth time in little more than three years.From 7 April, the price of a first-class stamp will increase by 5p, or 3%, to £1.70. The cost of the second-class service is going up by 2p, or 2.4%, to 87p
Britons snacking less as they drift back to office after pandemic
Hold the biscuits, popcorn and chocolate and hand out the rice cakes, apples and halloumi, the UK is cutting back on snacks and shifting to healthier options amid tighter budgets and bulging waistlines.Britons had a snack at home on more than 15% fewer occasions in 2024 than in 2020 – as a boom in self-treating during the pandemic lockdowns subsided, according to the retail market analysts Kantar. Even when snacking on the go is included, we are munching about 2% less than during the pandemic and even a bit less than before Covid reshaped our lives.Nathan Ward from Kantar said: “Working from home has made a massive difference. During the pandemic we did snack more as we were in the home and availability does drive consumption
US owner of UK pharmacy chain Boots to be taken private in $10bn deal
The US owner of Boots is to be taken private in a $10bn (£7.8bn) deal that will mean further uncertainty for thousands of workers at the UK-based pharmacy chain.Walgreens Boots Alliance, which operates more than 1,800 Boots stores in the UK, has been sold to the US private equity firm Sycamore Partners. The chain has been struggling as customers turn to online shopping for cheaper products.Walgreens’ market value has collapsed by 90% since 2015 and is valued at $9
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Noel Clarke has made ‘wild allegations’ against his abuse accusers, court told
Jimmy Kimmel on Trump’s tariffs: ‘Can you believe we’re shaking down Canada?’
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