Stride’s Hamlet gag saves Reeves from slings and arrows of economic fortune | John Crace

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You can only conclude that Conservative MPs are just too trusting for their own good.Either that or they are catatonically dim.The rest of us know enough to not always believe what we read on the front page of the rightwing papers, but Tory MPs seem to take everything at face value.If it’s in the paper, it must be true.It’s almost touching.

Tuesday’s front pages of the Mail and the Telegraph insisted Rachel Reeves’s time was up,Going to China while the international bond markets crept upwards was the last straw,The chancellor should resign,What’s more, the prime minister had expressed his “full confidence” in Reeves, which could only mean that he was about to sack her,Let’s just say that Monday had been a slow news day in Westminster and some hacks had decided to make mischief.

But for Tory MPs, Reeves’s departure was clearly a done deal.So they all headed off to the Commons in the expectation that the chancellor would do the decent thing.They would call for her to go and she would duly oblige.As I said, there’s no accounting for stupidity.After 14 years of government, they’ve forgotten how being in opposition works.

Then again, they were used to changing the prime minister and cabinet at regular intervals, so they probably thought Labour would operate in the same way.Not that Reeves was totally out of the woods.A chancellor doesn’t get to choose her inheritance and hers had been worse than most.And it was fair to say her budget hadn’t exactly thrilled business leaders who had been primed for growth.But she was a long way from getting sacked after just six months as a result of economic forces that were largely out of her control.

And just to make sure, she came to the chamber with a phalanx of ministerial supporters.Though not Tulip Siddiq, who hadn’t been seen for days.There’s a woman whose job really was on the line.“Not engaging with China is not an option,” Reeves began.Her delivery slightly garbled.

You could sense the nerves as she tried to talk up her trip.This wasn’t how she had envisioned spending her Tuesday lunchtime when she was suffering from jet lag.But best to take the initiative and hope the Tories imploded.She didn’t have long to wait.It’s not clear if even Mel Stride thinks he has what it takes to do the job of chancellor.

In a generally underwhelming shadow cabinet – there’s no one in there who you would trust to feed your dog – the Melster is the most forgettable.There is no obvious sign of recognition when he catches his reflection in the mirror and his only redeeming virtue is a loyalty that masks a lack of intelligence.He was the last member of Rishi Sunak’s team who was prepared to go out and say everything was just fine when his world was crumbling around him.What’s most endearing about Stride is that he has no real idea of just how half-witted he is.So rather than get up and evaluate Reeves’s performance as chancellor, he merely demanded that she resigned.

Borrowing rates were at their highest since the financial crash and growth was nonexistent.Facts not totally unconnected to global forces and 14 years of Tory government.But this was by the by.Reeves had to go.“We, on this side, know how this sorry story goes,” he said, to loud laughter from the Labour benches.

Well, yes.Stride ended with some botched Hamlet gag.To go or not to go.Even the Melster seemed to realise he had lost his audience long ago.This was an opposition in name only.

The Tories weren’t a credible government in waiting and he was just a joke as shadow chancellor,All this was music to Reeves’s ears,Any remaining nerves were gone and she grew in confidence,The rest of the statement belonged to her,The economy might not be how she would have wanted it but her position was secure.

“He’s not serious,” she declared delightedly.I could have told her that.She went on to observe that the Tories and the Lib Dems were fine with Labour’s spending commitments but weren’t prepared to make the tax rises to pay for them.Then there was always the Liz Truss put-down.She knew a thing or two about crashing an economy.

Sign up to First EditionOur morning email breaks down the key stories of the day, telling you what’s happening and why it mattersafter newsletter promotionCue any number of Labour MPs lining up to express their deepest love for Rachel.It’s amazing what the thought of Pat McFadden as chancellor can do to you.A man who has never had an optimistic thought in his life.A man after my own heart.As for the Tories, they just looked crushed.

The best they could come up with was that the £600m investment was chicken feed,That just left Reform’s Richard Tice – the jaundiced 1980s Littlewoods catalogue model – to present his credentials as chancellor in waiting,Reform are polling significantly higher than the Tories, so it’s not an impossibility,Although it is a terrifying thought,Dicky’s small fortune was largely acquired by starting with a large one.

With him in charge, the UK would be heading out of the G20 in a matter of years.Earlier in the day, Robert Jenrick had been granted an urgent question on the use of drones to deliver drugs, phones and weapons to prisoners.As ever with Honest Bob, it wasn’t clear he realised this niche service had thrived under his own government.You can’t move outside Wandsworth nick or Wormwood Scrubs without someone flying a drone over the wall.Amazon could learn a thing or two.

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Thomasina Miers’ recipes for chilaquiles with smoky tomatillo salsa and black beans, and pink grapefruit mocktail

You wouldn’t think of nachos as a natural way to start the day, but then nachos are simply a (more delicious) copy of a dish found throughout Mexico, where the tortillas from the day before are fried or baked until crisp and tossed in a salsa of your choice. Here, I use the acidity of tomatillo, which is given some smokiness and heat by chipotle chillies, and add a fried or poached egg and a squeeze of lime to make a seriously good brunch.This is traditionally a breakfast dish, but I also love it for dinner. Cook the beans in advance and keep in the fridge, like a secret weapon.Prep 15 min Cook 1 hr 30 min Serves 4-6 2-3 tbsp oil Juice of 2 limes300g corn tortillas Salt and black pepper4-6 eggsFor the beans 60g butter, plus 1 tbsp extra 1 medium onion, peeled and finely diced 2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped 1 tbsp chipotle en adobo 450g cooked black beans 1 star aniseFor the salsa 1 large red onion, peeled and cut into wedges3 garlic cloves, unpeeled 300g fresh plum tomatoes 1 red chilli 30g coriander, roughly chopped, plus extra leaves to serve1 tsp cumin seeds 2 tbsp chipotle en adobo About 300g jarred tomatillo salsa – I like the ones made by Gran Luchito and Cool Chile Company50ml extra-virgin olive oilTo serve 120ml soured cream 60-80g feta ½ red onion, peeled and very finely sliced 2 ripe avocados, halved, stoned, peeled and sliced Lime wedgesHeat the oven to 200C (180C fan)/390F/gas 6

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Rukmini Iyer’s quick and easy recipe for beetroot and celeriac gratin with goat’s cheese and walnuts | Quick and easy

I make variations on beetroot gratin all the time, and this one with celeriac, dill and goat’s cheese is an absolute winner. You’ll want to use a mandoline (very carefully) for the celeriac, to make sure it’s sliced thinly enough to cook through in half an hour (alternatively, do everything in a food processor using the slicing/grating attachment). If you happen to have a bunch of salsify, or spot one when you’re out, by all means peel, slice and add that, too. This gratin tastes even better the next day, so it’s definitely worth having leftovers.Prep 15 min Cook 30 min Serves 4½ celeriac, peeled and very thinly sliced2 fennel bulbs, trimmed and very thinly sliced280g cream cheese 100ml full-fat milk 20g fresh dill, roughly choppedSea salt and black pepper 300g raw beetroot, peeled and grated200g goat’s cheese log, finely sliced40g panko breadcrumbs 50g walnuts, roughly broken1 tbsp olive oil Juice of ½ lemonHeat the oven to 220C (200C fan)/425F/gas 7

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Rachel Roddy’s recipe for pisarei, or leftover bread pasta | A kitchen in Rome

Just like the other three bowls on the top shelf, the wooden salad bowl is full. However, unlike the other bowls, with their pick’n’mix of clothes pegs, coins, aspirin, Ikea pencils, cables, wet wipes, sunglasses, business cards, Kinder Surprise figures and Sellotape chewed by the dog, the salad bowl is a holding (or dumping) place for just one thing: bread crusts. In Italian, the crust of a loaf of bread is sometimes referred to as il culo or culetto, meaning bottom or little bottom, making this a bowl of bottoms.Its position on the highest shelf, plus the depth of the bowl, means I can’t be reminded of what’s inside until there are enough crusts that they start rising, like brown icebergs, above the rim. Then follows a period of days (or weeks) during which I keep seeing those tips, and reminding myself to do something with them, but don’t, so they continue to rise, and when the morning sun hits the shelves, I can see the dust drifting and settling

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Notes on chocolate: top marks, sparks fly at M&S

The supermarket chain’s new range is surprisingly delightfulRecently, for reasons we need not go into here, I hadn’t really been out much, having been confined to rest by an imaginary matron. So when my friend, Tamsin, offered to take me to a state-of-the-art Marks & Spencer in the next county (we live in the countryside) I jumped at the chance.It’s not as if I’ve never been to huge M&S in London – I’m a regular visitor to both of the big branches along Oxford Street. But not lately, because: matron.There is something intoxicating about being out and about after being largely confined to the house, isn’t there? I was like an overexcited child

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Soak up the rays: wines tasting of sunshine

Escape the gloom with these big red wines bursting with the flavours of warm countriesThe Guardian’s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link. Learn more.Cuevas de Arom Altas Parcelas, Calatayud, Spain 2021 (£18.99, shelvedwine

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Fonda, London: ‘An exuberantly good meal’: restaurant review

This new Mexican restaurant serves up regional dishes so well crafted that conversation stopsFonda, 12 Heddon Street, London W1B 4BZ. Starters and small plates £7-£14, larger plates £23-£29, desserts £6-£11, wines from £39At Fonda, a new Mexican restaurant off London’s Regent Street, the staff have vital information and, boy, are they determined to impart it. Usually, speeches about ingredients and the best way to eat your lunch, feel like a nail puncture purposefully engineered to let all the air out of any fun you were hoping to have. Lunch becomes an exam to be passed. Am I doing this right? Will the staff approve? Oh, the social anxiety