Seth Meyers: ‘Donald Trump has entered his Gaddafi era’
Late-night hosts talk Donald Trump’s unspecific tariffs plan, the fallout from Signalgate and Trump openly discussing an illegal third term in office.“March madness is in full swing, and sadly I’m not talking about the basketball tournament,” said Seth Meyers on Monday evening.“Donald Trump has entered his Gaddafi era,” the Late Night host continued, referring to the former Libyan dictator.“Trump’s got masked agents snatching people off the street for opinions he doesn’t like, he’s musing about staying in office past the end of his term, he’s abducting people with no criminal record and sending them to foreign prisons without due process.He’s implementing arbitrary tariffs and admitting that he couldn’t care less if ordinary Americans pay higher prices.
”“He’s fully turned Canada – yeah, that Canada – into an enemy,” he added.“He’s threatening military force to annex Greenland, he signed an order directing his vice-president to remove ‘wokeness’ from the National zoo and he’s mad about a portrait at the Colorado state capitol that isn’t sufficiently flattering.”On that last point, Meyers had to concede: “I don’t agree with Trump on much, but yeah, they fucked you.”Later, Meyers mocked the national security adviser Mike Waltz’s blame game for the Signal group chat used to discuss sensitive military plans for strikes in Yemen.Speaking to Fox News, Waltz claimed that the number for Jeffrey Goldberg, the Atlantic editor he invited to the chat, just got “sucked in” to his phone.
“It just got ‘sucked in’ is a terrible answer when your title is national security adviser,” Meyers laughed,“It’s not even a good answer if your title is Dave’s weird friend,“It’s worth noting that the president of the United States, with access to the best intelligence in the world, seems to know less about this earth-shattering scandal involving leaks of highly sensitive military plans than regular Americans at town halls who are very angry about it,” he added, referring to numerous clips of Americans furious with their Republican representatives over lack of accountability for the scandal,“Naturally, Trump is responding to historic levels of voter anger by claiming he’s already mulling the idea of illegally staying in office past his third term,” he explained,“Let’s not entertain it like it’s a real thing.
The constitution is crystal clear that a president can only have two terms.”On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart mocked Trump for teasing “other methods” for staying in office for an illegal third term.“Yes, there are other methods.You tried one a few years ago,” he said, referring to January 6.“There are other methods for staying in power beyond when you are legally allowed to be there.
Historically, some of them involve catapults.”Stewart ran through the administration’s brutal cuts to the civil service.“Is there any corner, no matter how small, of our current government that is safe from Musk’s chainsaw of efficiency?” he asked.“Yes!” he said, sarcastically.“Veterans Affairs, Department of Education, USAID, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! Because all is right at the ‘department of accidentally texting war stuff to reporters’.
But fear not, regular civil service government parasites.Perhaps this incident offers an opportunity for you all to get the kind of job security that clearly doesn’t from the quality of your work, but the assiness of your kisses.”Stewart tracked the Republican blame game, from Pete Hegseth blaming Joe Biden, to the attorney general, Pam Bondi, deflecting to Hillary Clinton’s emails and “bleach bits”.“Who amongst us hasn’t tried to bleach their own bits? I think, obviously, I’m referring to anuses,” Stewart laughed.“The Yemen text group chat understood rule number one of self preservation: me? No, it was that fucking guy!” he added.
“Because remember – you don’t have to be faster than the bear,You just have to be faster than your slowest coworker,”Stewart pointed to one clip of JD Vance, speaking at the US Pituffik space base in Greenland: “Members of the administration, including my dear friend Mike [Waltz], have taken responsibility for it,“That is the coldest ‘my dear friend Mike’ I have ever heard,” said Stewart,“Anyway, Brutus, you were saying about your dear friend Caesar?”And on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert looked into Trump’s proposed trade war.
“The president of United States has a nearly unchecked trade authority, and for weeks now Trump has been unchecking and wrecking it in every direction, but won’t tell anyone what he’s going to do, why he’s going to do it or how long he’s going to do it for,” he explained.“This isn’t a bull or a bear market, this is ‘bees! Bees!’”For weeks, Trump teased that this Wednesday will be “Liberation Day” with an unclear and unspecific amount of tariffs.“Liberation Day is like Independence Day, in that we’re the only country celebrating and somebody is probably going to get some fingers blown off,” Colbert joked.“If you don’t like Trump tariffs – and not many people do – don’t you worry,” he added.“One day he won’t be president … maybe.
” Because in a new interview, Trump said he “wouldn’t rule out” a third term as president,“What kind of headline is that?” Colbert fumed,“Who cares what he won’t rule out? I won’t rule out lying down on the Krispy Kreme conveyor belt and letting the glaze just take me, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen!”“The constitution forbids it,” he continued, quoting the 22nd amendment,“The rules are crystal clear,End of discussion.
”Nevertheless, Trump has speculated about staying in office.“A lot of people want me to do it,” he said.“There are methods which you could do it.”“Sure, there are also methods by which you could hammer a pineapple up your butt,” Colbert responded, “which could happen, some wonderful day.”
Luton airport allowed to double capacity after UK government overrules planners
Luton airport will be allowed to almost double in capacity after the government overruled planning inspectors who recommended blocking the scheme on environmental grounds.The transport secretary, Heidi Alexander, granted a development consent order for the airport’s plans to expand its perimeter and add a new terminal, allowing for a potential 32 million passengers a year.The approval comes despite concerns raised about ancient trees and the impact of more flights on the Chilterns, an area of outstanding natural beauty.Labour sources, however, said the promise of thousands of additional jobs had outweighed environmental considerations.Luton airport is also ultimately owned by the local council, meaning that a greater share of its profits are put back into local services
Zonal electricity pricing plan could add £3bn a year to GB bills, report finds
Plans to overhaul England, Wales and Scotland’s electricity market risk piling an extra £3bn on to household energy bills every year until the 2040s, according to the government’s own clean power adviser.New research has found that moving ahead with a plan to divide the national electricity market into different pricing zones could drive up the cost of building new windfarms as the government aims for a renewable energy boom before the end of the decade.Ed Miliband, the energy secretary, hopes to double Great Britain’s onshore wind capacity, triple solar and quadruple offshore wind farms to help create a clean power system by 2030.But uncertainty over the plans for “postcode electricity pricing” could mean that developers of renewable energy demand higher subsidies to offset the risk, according to the research, which could raise household energy bills or even delay clean energy investments.The report by the UK Energy Research Centre (UKERC) warned that an upcoming auction for renewable energy subsidy contracts could clear at £20 per megawatt-hour higher than expected if the zonal market plans were adopted
Trump’s tariffs: the full list
The president displayed the top of his list from a podium in the White House Rose Garden, and later published a longer version. Note that the “tariffs charged to the USA” in Trump’s formulation include “trade barriers” so don’t necessarily align with the tariffs published by countries concerned.
Royal Mail takeover deal by Czech billionaire to be finalised this month
The £3.6bn takeover of Royal Mail’s parent company will be completed this month, nearly a year after it was first agreed, as the Czech billionaire Daniel Křetínský cleared the final regulatory hurdles standing in the way.International Distribution Services (IDS), the owner of the 508-year-old Royal Mail, said on Thursday the deal “may become or be declared unconditional” by 30 April, after a delay due to issues in Romania.The most pressing issue, UK government approval, was clinched in December after a state review of national security laws.However, Křetínský’s company had warned in March that the deal might not be finalised until the second quarter of this year due to regulatory issues relating to foreign direct investment in Romania
‘We introduced avocado to the high street!’ How Pret conquered London – and began eyeing the rest of the world
At 93-95 Victoria Street, Westminster, a blue plaque marks a piece of London history: the first ever branch of Pret a Manger opened on this spot on 22 July 1986. Nearly 40 years later, it is still going strong.It’s a nice story – but it’s not the whole story. Look closer and the plaque states that the first Pret sandwich shop opened “near here”. In fact, it was down the road, at 75b, now a branch of Toni & Guy
Trump’s tariffs could deliver a $27bn blow to Australia – and the cost of a global trade war would be far higher
Liberation days signal the end of a war, not the start of one.So it is with rich irony that the US president, Donald Trump, has declared victory even as he massively escalates his attack on the global trading system.As Trump attempted to recast the world’s richest nation as a victim of “perfidious” foreigners who have been taking advantage of the superpower for too long, he unveiled sweeping 10% tariffs on goods imported from Australia. Notably, pharmaceuticals – one of Australia’s top exports to the US – escaped tariffs, as did critical minerals that are not mined in the US.The treasurer, Jim Chalmers, nevertheless declared it “a dark day in the global economy” as he promised to release updated Treasury modelling of how bad the tariffs will be for Australia
Grand National 2025: horse-by-horse guide to all the runners
Will a fifth year become the norm for women’s college basketball stars?
Max Verstappen indicates he was unhappy Red Bull sacked Liam Lawson
Stephen A Smith v LeBron James turns NBA’s narrator into a main character
Minister seeks inquiry into British Basketball’s ‘potentially criminal’ deal
‘Sundance Kid’ JP McManus has five shots at Grand National history