Stephen Colbert on Trump: ‘A sack of incompetence and malice’
Late-night hosts discussed how Donald Trump is tanking the US economy while also detailing the absurd attempts to de-woke the military,On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started by talking about the daylight savings leap over the weekend, saying he has “never been more grateful to be one hour closer to the end”,This week has seen the stock market plummet with the Dow Jones index falling 890 points,Despite attempts, there is “no good way to spin the story” and the news has been “bumming out everybody on Wall Street” with those who work there reportedly exhausted,“Do you know how hard it is to exhaust Wall Street?” Colbert asked before joking that they wake up to a “hot cup of cocaine and then just to take the edge off, more cocaine”.
He called it the “Trumpcession” and looked at how the same thing happened back in 2020 when it “took a disease to destroy the economy” but “this time, he is the disease”.He criticised Trump’s “erratic policies” and the chaos that he has brought within his first couple of months, before moving on to the administration’s deletion of all DEI initiatives.The government “flagged hundreds of words to limit or avoid” including barriers, sex and women.Colbert called it a “list clearly made by men who have experienced barriers having sex with women”.The ex-Fox News pundit turned military chief Pete Hegseth is “less DEI more DUI” but has been in charge of removing “scary woke words from the internet”.
This has included the deletion of a photo of the Enola Gay plane, which dropped an atomic bomb on Japan during the second world war,Colbert said it had been “replaced with a photo of Enola, your uncle’s longtime roommate”,He said that Trump was “not just a sack of incompetence and malice, he’s also very thin-skinned”, before talking about his recent meeting with Keir Starmer, who passed on an invitation from King Charles for a second state visit,Trump then saw Charles meeting with Volodymyr Zelenskyy and was privately fuming that the king makes other leaders feel special too,“If you thought Charles wouldn’t two-time you, you missed a whole season of The Crown,” Colbert joked.
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host brought up the “five-year anniversary of the great pandemic”, and reminded his viewers that Trump “announced it would be gone by Easter”.Now, Kimmel said, there are “lots of new and exciting pandemics to come”, thanks to RFK Jr and as well as measles there is also a “very nasty case of Elon Musk making its way around Washington”.Kimmel said: “He dresses like the first person eliminated from the world series of poker,” then went on to talk about the acrimonious meeting that saw Musk war with Marco Rubio.He said that Trump “has to give his pets a constant diet of liberals or they start feeding on each other”, while expressing sympathy for “poor little Marco”, who is the “first mate on the spray-tanic”.Kimmel also mentioned Pete Hegseth and how he is busy “de-woking our government” including taking the word racism away from any government sites.
“That’s one way to stop racism, just quit using the word,” he said.This week also saw Stephen Miller objecting to a joke on Saturday Night Live, whining about it on Fox News.“These guys that are constantly calling everyone humourless and thin-skinned are themselves humourless and thin-skinned,” he said.He added that it was “depressing to see these non-people in power”.On Late Night, Seth Meyers said Trump “brags about many things” but one of his top choices is the stock market.
He has claimed that when it was high under Biden it was because they were expecting Trump to return.“I love how Fox hosts have to talk to Trump when he says something insane,” he said, adding how they “repeat his words with a raised eyebrow”.He added: “I’m starting to think that the business in Fox Business is the same as the business in monkey business.”As it falls, Trump is now saying that we “shouldn’t watch the stock market”, but Meyers reminded us: “That’s all you’ve talked about for a year!”There is “anxiety and uncertainty over trump’s tariffs”, which are “more on and off again than Ross and Rachel” and have been allegedly put into place because of drugs pouring in from Canada.Meyers joked that they have “the politest cartels” and it is an “obviously insane thing to say”.
Trump promised a lot on day one but is now saying that “these things take time”, which led Meyers to say the president had “turned into George RR Martin”,
Farage feuds won’t faze Reform followers | Letters
Your editorial (10 March) makes the same old mistake with the assumption that Nigel Farage is damaging the Reform brand. The party’s followers don’t care, don’t read critical analysis of his behaviour, won’t even know about the spat with Rupert Lowe and aren’t swayed by unseemly behaviour or arguing in public. It’s all perfectly acceptable, even normal, for them. They just need to know someone backs their argument that foreigners are the reason for their woes. Their undying passion for the Farage cause will only get stronger
UK politics: UK expels Russian diplomat and says Moscow is seeking closure of British embassy in city – as it happened
Britain said it would revoke accreditation for a Russian diplomat in response to a similar move by Russia earlier this week against British diplomats.A government spokesperson said in a statement that Russia’s accusations made against the British diplomats were “entirely false” and “fabricated in order to justify their increasing harassment of UK diplomats”.A Foreign Office spokesperson said:During the past twelve months, Russia has pursued an increasingly aggressive and coordinated campaign of harassment against British diplomats, pumping out malicious and completely baseless accusations about their work.Russia’s expulsion this week of a British diplomat and diplomatic spouse is yet another escalation.The accusations made against these individuals are entirely false, fabricated in order to justify their increasing harassment of UK diplomats
Peers working for City firms dominate Lords panel scrutinising financial sector
Peers working for big City firms including Santander, Secure Trust Bank and the London Stock Exchange are sitting on a new Lords committee scrutinising regulation of the financial services industry, the Guardian has found.The House of Lords financial services regulation committee was formed in January last year and 10 of its 13 members have declared current or recent interests in the sector.From the start, it has been highly critical of the City regulator, the Financial Conduct Authority, despite a number of the committee members being paid by companies that are overseen by the watchdog.Established to consider the regulation of financial services in the post-Brexit era, in common with other Lords committees it has the power to investigate and ultimately influence laws and public policy by holding inquiries and summoning ministers and officials to give evidence.Its chair, Michael Forsyth, was until May last year paid a salary of £230,000 a year as chair of the UK retail bank Secure Trust Bank, which is regulated by the FCA and has 1 million customers
Nicola Sturgeon to stand down as MSP next year
Scotland’s former first minister Nicola Sturgeon has announced she is standing down as an MSP.Sturgeon, who led the Scottish National party from 2014 until her shock resignation in 2023, said she would not seek re-election in 2026, telling her Glasgow Southside constituency party members: “I have known in my heart for a while that the time is right for me to embrace different opportunities in a new chapter of my life.”In the letter, which she also posted on social media, Sturgeon – who has been a member of the Scottish parliament since its inception in 1999 and the first woman to lead her party and country – said she hoped the policies she had implemented as first minister – including the Scottish child payment, expanded early years education, investment in housing and new hospitals – had benefited people across Scotland.Sturgeon, who remains popular among many sections of the SNP, also addressed party members across the country in her social media post, telling them: “I may be leaving parliament, but I will be by your side every step of the way as we complete our journey to independence.”She added that “given the challenges facing the world today, it is more important than ever that progressive voices continue to speak up for fairness, equality and dignity for all”
As Starmer prepares to cut the number of quangos, what are they and what do they do?
Keir Starmer will this week set out plans to cut some quangos to reduce red tape and a bloated state, helping with economic growth. Politicians have embarked on similar programmes before. This is what quangos are and what they do:A quango is a quasi-autonomous non-governmental organisation, although the government calls them “arm’s length bodies” or ALBs. They oversee regulations for the government and operate independently from politicians.Everything from the running of the NHS to issuing driving licences, maintaining railways and monitoring food standards is carried out by ALBs
Plan to cut thousands of civil service jobs in radical government shake-up
A radical blueprint for reforming the state is being drawn up by government officials, including a crackdown on quangos and thousands more civil service job cuts, the Guardian understands.Proposals to restructure NHS England, with entire teams axed to save money and avoid duplication, could be replicated across a range of arm’s length bodies that spend about £353bn of public money.Separately, No 10 and the Treasury are understood to be taking a close interest in proposals drawn up by Labour Together, a thinktank with close links to the government, to reshape the state under plans dubbed “project chainsaw”.The project’s nickname is a reference to Elon Musk’s stunt wielding a chainsaw to symbolise controversial government cuts for Donald Trump’s administration.Keir Starmer told his cabinet at their weekly meeting on Tuesday that they should stop “outsourcing” decisions to regulators and quangos and take more responsibility for their own departments
Timid FCA has retreated too far on its ‘name and shame’ proposals
Ex-Barclays boss Jes Staley admits having sex with member of Jeffrey Epstein staff
ChatGPT firm reveals AI model that is ‘good at creative writing’
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Steve Borthwick may use three fly-halves for Six Nations finale in Wales
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